I'd like to introduce you to my dealer

First, I'd like to say I'm a woman of few vices. I can barely even think of any... A good, black oatmeal stout, staying up late, margaritas with too much salt, anything with refined sugar, Bombay Sapphire gin (and no, I'm not an alcoholic), watching Secretary over and over again, caffeine... Whatever. So I have a few bad habits. But so do you. At least I don't smoke cigarettes or do drugs. OK, there was that one time a friend brought some cannabis over...

I've shared a couple things with you that I just can't live without, and I've found my newest obsession. This one cannot be found on Etsy, and it's something you can eat! YAY! Wanna play a guessing game? Think of the coolest thing EVER. OK, now add chocolate. Now add caffeine. Now bake it. Make sure its chewy and moist. Obviously, I'm talking about a brownie. The most AWESOME brownie EVER. Wait, did I just say this bitch contains caffeine? You bet your ass I did.

Ohhh, just look at that chewy, gooey middle. And that slightly crisp, shell-like top. Oh, could a human being actually make something so perfect? Guess how much caffeine is in there. A can of Coke has about 34 mg. Mt. Dew has 55 mg. Red Bull has 80 mg. 2 oz of espresso has 100 mg. This behemoth has 200 MG! And when I say behemoth, I mean behemoth. Don't you hate it when your mom makes brownies, then cuts them into tiny little slivers, so you need to eat like 18 of them? And then your mom says, "Stop eating so many brownies! You are going to ruin your appetite and get sick! Blah blah blah!" Well, these aren't tiny slivers. I was going to measure the one that was just sitting in front of me, but I forgot and ate it instead. Oops. And Allison (the baker extraordinaire) won't yell at you for eating too many. She's kind of evil because she'll talk you into another one. How awesome would it be to have her as a mom? And the cookies are huge, too. Like as big as your head.

Worried about calories? Don't be annoying. Anyway, this brownie will make you so hyper you won't think about eating for the rest of the day. Plus, you'll have so much energy you'll be bouncing off the walls burning all those glorious calories. And you'll be so much more interesting, too.

Now, where in the world could you get such a thing? Anywhere. Cause you can buy them online. www.asnackintheface.com Yeah. The bakery is called A Snack in the Face. And their slogan is "You look like you could use a snack in the face." Don't like brownies? First, you need to look into that. Then, when you buy some brownies, you can also pick up sugar cookies. Or cheesecake. Or muffins. Or cupcakes. And they don't taste like they contain an extra special ingredient. Don't get me wrong, I loves my coffee, but I'm tired of anything that's caffinated tasting like "mocha", or "espresso". These just taste like "brownie" and "cookie". The way they're supposed to.

But... if you live in Ames, Iowa, or anywhere remotely near there, you can go to their micro-bakery and pick some awesomeness up. Cause that's what I did. Last week I had to make a pilgrimage back to the homeland (i.e. Iowa), and thought I would stop in and see what this was all about. Allison hooked me up with brownies and sugar cookies, and the (non)VegHubs with some cheesecake. The poor VegKids couldn't understand why Mommy wasn't sharing. The seven hour drive home was so much more fun after a brownie. The colors were brighter, Franz Ferdinand sounded even more awesome, and the hubs' yammering about fantasy football was actually tolerable.

Brownies for breakfast? Sign me up. You don't even need to brew any coffee.

ETA: Oh, and follow them on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asnackintheface There is always an update with Twitpics featuring something new and delicious looking. The pics are like porn for your eyes. Well, I guess all porn is porn for your eyes... but these are safe for work.