Could I be... growing... as a person?

I've found myself quite boy-crazy as of late. Not that this is anything new. I've pretty much been boy crazy since 3rd grade. But what is new is the type of boys I find myself crazy for. Now let's get one thing straight. I am happily married to the most perfect man in all the world. These are celebrity crushes only, because frankly, I'm a spaz. I find most people repulsive in real life, and have very few, if any "real guy" crushes. And if I meet someone who seems to be "putting out the vibe" I freak out and run away. I'm lucky I met the hubby when I did, because otherwise I'd be a single gal in my single gal apartment, crocheting and watching "Tim and Eric Awesome Show: Great Job!" with my cats, wondering why I can't meet anyone who gets me.

...

It was the late 1980s, and I had a deep, dark secret. All the girls in my class were gushing over guys like Kirk Cameron or Scott Baio or Tom Cruise. Gross. My crush was on a man from a show that was over 20 years old and being shown on Nick at Night. You know, stuff old people watched.

I've written about my crush on Mike Nesmith before, so I'm not going to go too in-depth here. Needless to say he's delicious. His tall, dark and handsomeness (but not too handsome or cute - lookin' at you DAVY JONES) was ultra appealing to me, and the fact that he was kind of quiet and brooding and mysterious just made him even better. He wasn't the one the girls fainted in front of, and he wasn't a clown. He had dignity. He had class. And he had my heart. And since he was really the first guy to make me feel all funny and mushy in those oh-so-formative years, this "type" really stuck.

I wasn't SO counter-culture back then to not have had a few mainstream crushes. There were the Coreys (Feldman, mostly), River Pheonix, and Jonathan Knight. Well, Jonathan was sort of mainstream. Everyone else was oogling over Joey or Jordan, but I fell for the tall, shy, mysterious one. He didn't put himself out there like the others and that was compelling. Turns out it's because the screaming *girl* fans just didn't do it for him, but whatever. I still love you, Jonathan. You may have been my first gay-boy crush, but you weren't the last. It's not like I whip out a little note pad and check off qualifications before I decide if someone is cute, but I've come to realize if there are not at least 4 of the 5 following traits present, there is no attraction.

1. Tall (Benicio Del Toro. See also: 2)
..........

2. Dark (Jason Schwartzman. See also: 3, 4)
..........

3. Skinny
Adrien Brody (See also: 1, 2, 4)

..........

4. Big and/or crooked and/or bumpy noseDemetri Martin (See also: 1, 2, 3)

..........

5. Slight overbite

Jeff Goldblum (See also: 1, 2, 3, 4)

This is the basic template for any man I have found attractive for the last 20 years. It doesn't make me shallow, it's just how it is. My husband, Trent Reznor, Vince Vaughn, Penn Jillette, George Harrison, Dave Gahan, every member of Duran Duran... They have all been the same "type". Until recently. It started a few years ago when I was watching Peter Dinklage in The Station Agent and found myself thinking, "He is awesome. And kind of sexy, too. Wait, WHAT?!?" He sooo goes against my type! Then I just chalked it up to thinking he was sexy because he was just so awesome. I slowly had to admit, "No, I don't just want to hang out and play cards with this guy. I kinda wanna make out with him." And that seemed ok. It was ok to like a little person when any ogre over 6'3" could make me sweat. Right? You're damn right. You watch Living in Oblivion, then The Baxter, then The Station Agent, and see how you feel about him. Meow.

Around the same time, the hubby and I rented the first disc of "The Office: Series One" from Netflix. I was a naiive little girl who had never heard of the genius Ricky Gervais, and was about to have my world rocked. From the first episode I was hooked. Too bad there wasn't anyone sexy to look at. Martin Freeman is kinda cute, so I pretened I was Dawn. But every time Ricky came on the screen it was pure perfection. So what if I didn't find him attractive; I could still find him AMAZING. And the more I learned about him, the more I decided he was probably as close to the most perfect human being as one could get. Funny, brilliant, atheist, British with a dark sense of humor... Then I discovered he was in a NEW WAVE BAND?!? Again, I've already covered this, but it deserves to be said again. WATCH IT.


I seriously forget where I am when I watch that. *Sigh*

So... OK, where were we? Oh, yeah. He's awesome, but not attractive to me, blah blah blah. But he WAS attractive. Very, VERY attractive. Then I saw an ad for the Golden Globes that he was to host, and he was in a suit and a couple days' worth of stubble. Hmm... kinda cute... In fact, very cute. Fast forward to a few months later and he's all I can think about. He's the first against-type guy I've wanted to make out with, then marry and have babies with.

It has actually taken me a while to be comfortable with this. I've just been so used to being attracted to the kind of guys I've always been attracted to, that I couldn't even admit to myself I may be becoming more open minded. And I may have opened the flood gates. There are a whole bunch of people out there that are more attractive than the (long gone) 17 year old VegKat would ever admit.

There are the silver foxes:

(See also: really old guys)
..........

The obnoxious Type A personalities:(See also: silver foxes, tall, skinny, overbite)

..........

The really old guys:(See also: silver foxes)

..........

And the women:Ok, so maybe I'm not becoming more open minded, just turning into a horny old(ish) lady. But... I can actually tolerate The Smiths now, and actually have one of their songs on my iPod. So that shows growth, right? And I used to wish the White Stripes would be eaten by the Bermuda Triangle, and now I'm in love with them. Doesn't hurt that Jack White has like all of the 5 magic traits...